Jumpers for Goal Posts 2

Jumpers for Goalposts 2 – Football RPG more engaging and impressive than its predecessor


Let’s have a massive round of applause for our star player who made it through the trials and tests of the original Jumpers for Goalposts, or at very least participated and fizzled out in a career that just didn’t have the legs you thought it would. Either way, the original game in this series with a dangerous potential for serious series addiction was a solid foundation for Jumpers for Goalposts 2, a noticeably flashier (in the showy sense; it’s equally as flash-based as its predecessor) sequel that promises new skills, new girls, and new opportunities for finding your way to stardom. So the questions that are likely racking most people’s brains would likely be along the lines of what’s changed from the original? Is it really all that different? And does it still possess the features that made the original so fun to play? Read on, and you shall be mildly enlightened.

Standard Procedure

Jumpers for Goalposts 2 completely retains the football RPG format in that you still get to choose your name at the game’s outset and assume control of the life of a young and likely-naive man that wants to be a footballer. Just as you do in the original, you must complete a series of skill drills that involve volleying, penalty shootouts, and quick-fire snap shots towards the goal. These skills are as insanely frustrating as ever to master, and the quality of the football club that tend to request contracts with you is still directly proportional to the number of points you earn in each aspect of your training. Once you are signed, the by-the-books training and match playing commences, interspersing bouts of on-pitch gameplay (which is essentially just repeating your skills training only at certain points within a fully-fledged match) with Football Manager-style playing out of the match through written commentary. Match play is balanced out with controlling your player’s training and social life where you must win the approval of your manager, the media, and also attain a girlfriend in order to win her approval as well.

New-Found Glory

Jumpers for Goalposts improves upon its predecessor by firstly adding in some new skills to perfect for your post-contract training and also for use within the matches. Passing is a new skill on the block, which involves stopping a rapidly-fluctuating needle in a tiny green zone on an otherwise red indicator. Heading the ball is also a requirement this time around, requiring you to judge the passage of the ball through the air by watching its shadow as it approaches from the right and making your player jump in time to connect with it. Turn & Shoot is the final addition to the roster and requires you to snap up the ball as it approaches from behind you, holding the right mouse button to encourage the ball to travel further to the right. Don’t worry (or do worry if you found the original infuriatingly difficult), the original volley, penalty shootout, and snap-shot skill remain, with the new and original skills all being as annoying difficult as each other to perfect.

There are apparently also 14 new girlfriends to distract yourself with and win over; this is achieved purely by possessing the fastest cars and the biggest houses and maintaining your social life. I don’t see what our football star sees in these girls if their only source of affection for you is money-based, but such is the life of a famous and wealthy football star. Perhaps Mousebreaker are inferring that the profession of football sits atop a thin, fickle foundation of temporary fame and media-created glory that can shatter any moment and like falling into an icy lake through the ice you plunge into the freezing depths of retirement and obscurity as a husk of the man that you once were. Or perhaps we know that footballers tend to like girls: whichever one lets you sleep at night.

Polished but Familiar

Those with poor eyesight could be forgiven for thinking that they are actually just playing the original as opposed to a direct sequel. Aside from a few bits of aesthetic polish, a few new skills, and playing ‘higher or lower’ for money between matches, the procedure for Jumpers for Goalposts 2 is pretty much identical to the original, and is essentially just a game that divides your time between perfecting skills in training, using these skills on the pitch, and balancing your social life with your training in order to please the media, your manager, and your girlfriend (this aspect is essentially just a numbers game). It’s a definite improvement on the original, but there was a lot more potential for improvement than was actually included in this game.